Movies and television shows often feature characters that are driven by their vices. These characters frequently have some sort of addiction that plays as the catalyst for the action or a subplot to a bigger story. But in each case one thing is for sure, a few fictional characters could seriously use some rehab.
Here are the top 7 characters who should have used the rehab center to help steer them from their vices.
Willie T. Stokes — Bad Santa
Played By: Billy Bob Thornton
Vice: Every Kind of Alcohol
Like many alcoholic characters, Willie T. Stokes drinks because he doesn’t have any reason not to. His character is at the end of the road in a crime scheme, and he doesn’t seem to care one bit. The alcohol seems to be the only way he can deal with his dead-end job — of being Santa.
Barnard “Barney” Gumble — The Simpsons
Played by: Dan Castellanetta (voice)
Vice: (Duff Brand) Beer
You rarely see Barney Gumble on The Simpsons without a beer in his hand. Barney has sobered up a few times on the show, but it never lasts. After his documentary about his alcoholism, “Pukahontas” aired at the Springfield Film Festival, Barney thought about getting sober until he got his prize — a lifetime supply of Duff Beer.
Alan — The Hangover
Played By: Zach Galifianakis
Alan could have saved the other Hangover characters a huge burden had he decided to go to rehab long before attempting to drug them with ecstasy (which turned out to be Rohypnol, also known as roofies). If he had a bit of clarity, he probably wouldn’t have bought drugs on the street from a stranger, slipped them to his friends, and misplaced his soon to be brother-in-law.
Samantha Jones — Sex in the City
Played By: Candace Bushnell
Samantha Jones needed rehab but not for drugs. She needed sex addict rehab. A self-proclaimed try-sexual (meaning she will try anything), Samantha spent most of the series having flings with more men than Charlotte York, Carrie Bradshaw, and Miranda Hobbs combined.
Hancock — Hancock
Played By: Will Smith
An addiction can derail a bright future. That is certainly the case for Hancock, a powerful superhero who can’t put the bottle down long enough to save the city from criminals. Hancock’s powers often backfire when he does try to help the city but his drunken stumbles lead to even more destruction.
Jackie Peyton — Nurse Jackie
Played By: Edie Falco
Vice: Vicodin, Adderall, Percocet, Oxycontin
It is ironic that Jackie Peyton is a drug addict because she is also a crusader for good health — she is a nurse. Her easy access to drugs makes her far more susceptible to supporting her addiction, which is not a good thing for her, or her patients. She treats patients at All Saints’ Hospital but she should be in with patients at 12 Keys Rehab or learning a how to help herself at www.12keysrehab.com.
Saul Silver — Pineapple Express
Played By: James Franco
Even running from crazed criminals can’t stop Saul Silver from taking the time for a toke. Saul should be keeping on his toes as he runs from thugs who want to murder him, but he can’t resist taking the time to smoke up with teenagers, other desolates, and his ally Dale Denton.
The vices of these seven characters helped steer the plot of their television shows and movies. While we probably enjoyed the drama that ensued, it’s safe to say these characters could have benefited from a trip to rehab.